Wetshaving

Do you feel like a man after you shave? Do you beam with a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and thankfulness for being alive after you slice off clump of stubble? If you answer 'no', then you need to put down that silly fixed-head octuple blade and jump on the wetshaving bandwagon. What is this wetshaving? It is shaving with a safety razor, those little razor blades that coke-dealers use to make "lines", and the little blades that will slice you open without you even feeling it. You put one of those razor blades on a stick and shave your face with it. Intimidating? Yes. Worth it? Yes x 2!

Why would I want to do that? I like my jugular uncut! I am comfortable with my 12-blade, vibrating, lubricated, anti-slip grip, mechanical monster! (that sounds odd...) Why should I shave with a safety razor?

First of all its a skill, a techne, to get all Greek on you. We live in a world of mediocrity, where traditional crafts and skills are dying out, so why not learn a man-skill and set yourself apart from hoi poloi.

Secondly, you know those annoying little bumps you get on your neck after you shave? You know ingrown hairs? Those are caused by your silly 8-blade razor cutting so close that the hair begins to grow under the skin. Who needs that? With a safety-razor, the hair is cut close, but not as freakishly close as your Gillette Fusion, so you don't get ingrown hairs.

Thirdly, you know that burning sensation after you shave? That's razor burn. Imagine a rug-burn, and put that on your face, that's what razor burn is. Your Shick or Gillette multi-blade razor cut so close to the skin that it actually takes some of the skin off with it, and that's why you get razor burn. With a safety-razor, you don't get razor burn.

Fourthly, you know how expensive buying replacement blades for your razor is? You can easily spend $15-20 for 4 meager blades that will last you a month or two. That's easily $100 a year! With safety-razors, you can buy a pack of 10 blades for an average of $5, and each blade can last you a week (if you shave maybe 3 or 4 times). So if you would only spend about $25 a year for all the razors you need! Why waste your money? Thrift is another traditional man-skill. Huzzah!